


Hamster Balls and Crack CocAInE

by MaddieWrites



Series: A Very Cracky Christmas [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: But not Christmas themed, Christmas, Crack, Crack Fic, M/M, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 22:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13133205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieWrites/pseuds/MaddieWrites
Summary: So, every year I write one (1) fanfiction for each friend as a Christmas gift because I can't do anything. They get to request what they want me to write. This was Emma's request.Prompt: Percy is a hamster and Nico is a human that runs around in a hamster ball.





	Hamster Balls and Crack CocAInE

**Author's Note:**

> no Crack CocAInE was consumed in the making of this story. The alliterations in the dialogue took forever so I'm just gonna point them out so everyone can appreciate me.

Well, this had been quite the adventure, but Percy wasn't really a fan of the new experience. His mom had always told him to make the best of a situation; if nothing else, he could always learn from it. Percy wasn't sure what he was supposed to learn here, maybe “don't go places with Nico di Angelo” or “treat hamsters nicely, you never know when they could actually be a demigod tragically turned into a hamster”. Well, either way, Percy was just gonna come out and say it: This sucked. He didn't say it really, more like squeaked it since hamsters couldn't talk and Percy was currently a hamster. He admittedly didn't have it as bad as Nico, who seemed to be locked in a giant hamster ball. Percy would get claustrophobic in that thing, but right now he was way more worried about getting squished by it as Nico tried to figure out how to move. 

“Percy? Is that you?” His voice was a little muffled by the thick plastic, but Percy could understand him well enough. Unfortunately, all Percy could do was squeak in response. He had no way of communicating with Nico. 

“Right, you're a rodent. Err... I can reverse this, really.”

It wasn't everyday they angered a seriously powerful sorceress by shadow traveling to the wrong place, so Percy doubted he had a quick fix. Maybe if they went back to camp, and Nico explained, Chiron could help. 

“How about you help me hash it out, and hope I can habituate this?” Nico grumbled.

Wait, Nico could hear him?

“I guess I get gerbils now, perhaps that's not particularly the point, Percy. I'll pull us out of this predicament.”

“Sorry, still, seriously suppose you saunter up there and say we're sorry so this sorceress will stop her spell and we'll soon start speeding home?”

“No,” Nico narrated. “Neither of us needs to negotiate with that nut.”

“But berating me barely benefits us. Traverse the terrain to talk to her.” He sighed. Nico clearly didn't want to explain anything to her, probably because he would need to take the hamster ball up a hill to get to her cottage, but it needed to be done.

“Look, I'll leave and learn a little, like our location. Lay low.” With that Nico headed off. Percy hoped he didn't get stuck anywhere, since the hamster ball looked hard to use. He decided to make the long climb up the hill, since Nico refused to, and try to talk his way out of this. If nothing else, Percy was good at talking. He'd talked his way into and out of many tricky situations, so Percy hoped his skills would hold up. They needed to get back to normal before something decided Percy looked like a tasty snack. It was a long climb, like way longer than it seemed to be from that short bit of text, but he made it. Now the hard part; getting inside. Percy looked around until he realized the author didn't actually know how to get him inside, and she had just magically zapped him there instead. 

“H-Hey.” Percy huffed. He was nervous, but angry, so that word seemed to be an appropriate description of how he said that.

“Hello hamster.” The sorceress smiled.

“Percy.” The author didn't want to find a synonym for 'my name is' that started with the letter 'p', and Percy could appreciate her admitting defeat when she knew it was at hand. “I, might manage to make you master your mistake and fix this facade?” Percy asked, not fully understanding the meaning of the word 'facade'. 

“Maybe, might you manifest my 'mistake'.” She misused the word 'manifest' on purpose to make him feel better about his own error. Since the author didn't want to type out all the dialogue, Percy simply explained what was going on off screen. The sorceress, realizing her mistake off screen, reversed the curse in elaborate rhymes that were also off screen. Percy thanked her off screen, and left the house in his normal body to go find Nico. 

“I corrected the conundrum!” He called when he spotted the son of Hades. Nico seemed delighted to be out of the hamster ball, kissing Percy like everyone, specifically the author, wants him to. Because this is the man he deserves. AND THeY wOuLd be SO HaPPy. But that was not the point, for Nico was happy in this exact moment, and that was what was important. As he pulled away, the author wiped the memory of the kiss from Percy's mind, because they weren't ready for this yet, and Nico gleefully shadow traveled them home. The end, the author typed as she changed the spacing to 1.5 to make her writing seem longer, the end.


End file.
